On Monday I had my anomaly scan. I was little nervous - the usual worries went through my head 'is the baby ok, is it healthy'?. My mum, my husband and Ben 10 came along and as I lay on the couch a delightful image appeared on screen - a happy heartbeat and little arms waving to me. I gushed with pride and was so happy to see my little bean had developing well.
I was confirmed as 20 weeks and the sonographer was happy that there 'are no concerns' with the growth.
On my way to work I spent the next hour looking at the scan picture and wondering if it was team blue or pink (my hospital have a policy of not disclosing). I have a desire to know this time what flavour my baby is. Being Team Yellow was exciting when I was carrying Ben 10 and everyone was convinced it was a girl - myself included (we were wrong) but this time I would like to know but the cost of a 3d scan is more than I can afford.
The scan picture is identical to Ben 10's when he was 20 weeks. My little boy is ADORABLE and so gorgeous I can't wait to have another that looks the same - of course he WOULD be good looking as he takes after his mummy hehe.
I don't feel too big, I have put on weight... I dare not get on the scales as I know I am now classed as 'obese' and have been instructed I must see the consultant as my bmi is over 35 and I am high risk in pregnancy - medical teams really know how to cheer women up! Maybe they should try telling Gwen 11 that he/she cannot have any treats - it's not like I enjoy the chocolates and cakes... is it?
I'm still in my normal trousers as I bought size 20 before I fell pregnant and they still fit, although not comfortable in pregnancy, but I still haven't found any maternity ones suitable for work that I can try on in the shop rather than having to purchase them online.
My colleagues know I am pregnant and all fussed over the scan picture which was lovely. I'm starting to think about when I'll stop working for maternity leave, and I think that if I can, I will continue until the point my waters break! I need the money and I haven't been in this job long enough to receive maternity pay from them so the longer I work, the better it is. I'm planning to be off for three months, and return to work in the New Year - IF I can!
I'm hoping that this time around I will be able to breastfeed successfully. I wasn't offered much help at the hospital and by the time I can home with Ben 10, I had mastitis and was suffering horribly. My supply wasn't great and Ben 10 was constantly hungry. I gave up when my supply dried up after the death of my father (Ben 10 was 10 weeks old) and it was actually a huge relief to be able to bottle feed, and have the freedom to leave him with family, not have him permanently attached to my breast thanks to hunger, not to have the pressure of family and friends telling me I wasn't holding him right - that I wasn't eating correctly and just constantly judging me on the fact my son wasn't breastfeeding exclusively. There were many times I would cry and beat myself up emotionally about not doing it when family would compare me to their daughters and how great they had done. So, this time, I'm doing it my way. I will try to breastfeed - if it happens... GREAT, if not, then I'm not going to put myself under unnecessary pressure. Ben 10 was much more content and happy when I he moved the formula and that's all that matters... a happy baby.
Bump picture: 20 weeks + 2 days.
Scan no 1: Gwen 11
Scan no 2: Ben 10
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